Walking outside

I prefer walking outside, but as I’ve aged, I’ve found a significant problem with walking too far from the house. After 15 minutes, I need to pee, and the neighborhood dogs don’t like me marking their trees. They get quite jealous when a new bitch comes sniffing around. You have to understand that I only sniff because, when I walk, my nose runs, and I always forget a tissue. One time, when I was totally desperate and I couldn’t hold it any longer, I peed behind a big bush. This isn’t as horrid as it sounds since I live in the boonies and there aren’t many houses along our road. I didn’t pee in someone’s yard, or poison a prize rose bush, but I did see a curtain moving as one of the neighbors peeked out to see why her dog was barking. The bush might not have been as big as I’d first thought. If I had known I would be a free peep show, I would have worn fancier undies.

The thought crossed my mind that if I’d bought the water bottle straw, the pit stop would have been a perfect place to rehydrate, since my pants were unfastened. (Please see the previous post for an explanation of that bizarre statement!) When reality spoke clearly to my tired brain, I realized that multitasking in a field full of poison ivy wouldn’t have been a good idea for me. Also, I didn’t want to refill the old bladder before I was a lot closer to home. I didn’t want a repeat performance because squatting anywhere is difficult, and I never know if my knees are going to allow me to stand back up. With a fear of getting stuck in an embarrassing position along my road, I knew I couldn’t risk the squatty potty thing again. I did not want to get a reputation as a flasher (I wasn’t moving fast enough to be a streaker!) and, to avoid an arrest for indecent exposure, I decided to play it safe and find an even less populated place to walk. I probably needed to stay a tad bit more on the side of normal with this subject.

My favorite place to walk is in the fields and woods behind my house. There are no other houses, no people, and plenty of big trees and bushes, just in case I have to be a few steps beyond normal!

2 thoughts on “Walking outside

  1. Patti Adams

    Oh my! What a similar problem we have. If I take my camera out on my walk, I have to make sure that I don’t “focus” too long on taking pictures. It’s strange that we have more time to do things, but then other things get in the way.

    Liked by 1 person

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