“To get really healthy, find the healthiest person you can stand, and then spend as much time with him or her as possible.” (Rick Warren, The Daniel Plan)

Something about this statement bothers me. Am I reading it wrong or does it imply that healthy people are obnoxiously annoying and possibly intolerable? Or, is it suggesting that I can blame all my bad eating habits on my friends? Even worse, can my friends blame their bad eating habits on me? I know I shouldn’t have shared my recipe for black bottom cupcakes all those blog posts ago.

Seriously, is there a 1-800-RAHP (rent a healthy person) number to call? Do they bring their own tofu? I suppose that concept of being around healthy people is what makes programs like Weight Watchers so effective. I’ll be truthful, though. I enjoyed spending time with my dieting group, but that trip to weigh in once a week was less about the camaraderie than the stop we made at Foodland afterward to buy an ice cream treat. Points didn’t count for at least two hours after we braved the scales.

It’s obvious that I need an attitude adjustment. I never ate lunch with the queen of carrot sticks. I was more about the China Garden group with egg rolls, duck sauce, cheese wontons, and fried rice. I do eat better now but I need to be more active. I know this. I repeat it to myself every hour and then promptly ignore myself. Is this behavior just a few steps beyond normal? Probably not. A lot of us know what we need to do to be healthier, but we lack the motivation to follow through.

Anyhow, I tried calling the healthy person hotline. I left a message but nobody has returned my call. They are too busy looking for a healthy person to hang out with and, if they called me, they’d have the wrong number!