I was taught at an early age that it is better to give than to receive. I’ll be truthful and state that I haven’t fully embraced this principal. Who among us doesn’t like getting a gift? I don’t necessarily give a gift because I’m seeking personal recognition but it is a pet peeve of mine when the recipient of a gift doesn’t even acknowledge receiving it. How rude is that?
When my kids were growing up, they were gifted with lots of money and gifts every year for their birthdays and Christmas. Along with a verbal “thank you“, I always had the kids write notes. I did this because I think writing a thank you note is important. Sadly, I don’t think it’s a habit that followed them into adulthood.
This spring, I gave three graduation gifts, one baby shower gift, and one wedding shower gift. The momma-to-be thanked me personally. She was obviously delighted with her gift. The bride and groom mailed me a hand-written note soon after their honeymoon. It was short and sweet, but it probably meant as much to me as the money meant to them.
One graduation gift recipient sent me a nice thank you message on Messenger. I’m good with that. She took the time to find me on Facebook and her message was sincere. One graduation gift was acknowledged with a pre-printed, one-size fits all thank you card that wasn’t even signed. Perhaps I’m expecting too much but I think that if I make an effort to buy a card, go to the bank to get the cash, or wrap a gift, the recipient could sign her name on the note. My final rant of the post involves a graduation gift that wasn’t acknowledged at all. I’m disappointed in that young lady. She knows better.
My friend, Kathy, used to send money to my kids for their birthdays. One year, after nagging them to write a thank you note with no success, I told her just to stop sending money to the ungrateful brats. She did! It may be a few steps beyond normal, but I think I’ve decided to practice what I preach. If you can’t thank me for a gift, don’t expect another one!
2 thoughts on “The lost art of writing a thank you note”
vicki, i completely agree. when my son had a difficult time responding with a thank you, i gave him a kit, card, envelope, address of recipient (s), and stamp. i gave him a window of opportunity. when none of that inspired him, i used the same method i used to get my kids to eat. basically, he sat in front of the materials until the card was written. i much later found out that he did not like the look of his hand writing and that was the real issue, not being ungrateful, or thoughtless. if we as parents, as a generation, spent more time at the table with our kids, doing their home work, practicing their writing, going over their spelling words, it would be a better world. i love your words. they remind me that we are often the same spirit in different bodies. joy
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I remember that,you telling me to stop sending the boys money for there birthdays,because they didn’t want to write thank you notes.
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