I’ve been known to read, and enjoy, more than one murder mystery thriller but, as a general rule, I don’t watch horror movies. That doesn’t, however, stop my mind from working overtime if I hear an odd noise when I’m home alone. I am capable of working myself into a petrified mess with little effort. This week, as I’ve contemplated the large number of beetles that have had a fatal spa experience in my house, I’ve realized that many other bugs have gone for the same whirlpool roller coaster ride. Is there such a thing as bug karma? If so, my worst nightmare might be entitled Return of the Flushed Bugs!

Think about it. If all the spiders, ants, wasps, hornets, ticks, earwigs, flies, stink bugs, beetles, and roaches that I’ve flushed over the years were to crawl back out of my sewer lines, it would be a nightmare of epic proportions! And what if I’d just mopped? Could you imagine the muck they’d be tracking into my house on all those tiny little legs? What could be worse than the return of those bugs? How about the fact that they are zombie bugs when they return? I don’t know anything about zombies, but wouldn’t you think a zombie spider would be a whole new level of creepy?

It’s not like they’d all be climbing out of one drain hole, either, so I couldn’t just sit there with the vacuum cleaner sucking them up as they crawled out. Oh, no! There are multiple entry points in my house and not enough armed vacuums to stop them! There are 2 shower drains, 2 bathtub drains, 7 sink drains, and three toilets spread out in six different rooms on two different floors. I’m pretty sure I’d be forced to evacuate my house.

I probably should practice catch and release. I honestly think that would be a few steps beyond normal!